A lot of parents find that having a rewards system helps them to get the very best out of their children, whether that’s in terms of their learning, their behavior, or anything else. And the truth is that rewards can definitely help instill learning and good instincts into children – the same can be said of adults. How many times have you worked harder or done something you weren’t all that interested in because there was some incentive for you to do so? It happens all the time, and parents can definitely make use of the idea.
However, knowing how to reward children is important, otherwise you might do too much or too little, or you might give the wrong thing – something that reinforces bad behavior, for example. With that in mind, here are some of the best ways to reward children that will help everyone get all the benefits.
Give Points
A great way to reward children is to make a points-based system. For every good deed they do, for every completed task, for every pass in a test at school, and so on, they can be awarded a point. Once a certain number of points has been gained, they can choose a prize of some sort. The more points, the bigger the prize. This is a great way to do things because it means they will do positive things and behave well even without being asked to, and the lessons you’re teaching them about how to be good people will sink in more quickly.
To really help the lesson stick, you can also remove points for bad behavior. This will help children to immediately understand what’s good and what’s bad.
A Reward For Them
It’s very simple for parents to choose a reward for the child, and although this will sometimes work, it’s usually best to let the child choose. This eliminates the possibility that you’ll pick something you think they’ll like (that they actually don’t) or that you want them to have (but they have no interest in). This won’t reinforce good behavior as the reward is, to the child, not worth working hard for.
This is why allowing them to choose their own reward is a good idea. If you want to limit their choices to ensure the prize falls within your budget and is suitable, that can be useful. You could suggest a choice between a book or a learning video, for example, if your child has a love of gaining knowledge – if this sounds like it would help your child, you can get more information about that online. Another option could be they get to choose what to have for dinner if they’re interested in food. Or perhaps a day out is in order, and they can choose the location.
Tell Them Why
When a parent sees that a child has done something good and that whatever they have done deserves a reward, it’s easy to pick out that reward (or have the child choose, as we’ve mentioned above) without also remembering to explain why you are giving it.
Unless you offer this important information at the same time as giving the reward, how will the child know what it relates to? They won’t learn a lesson and will instead feel as though they are being given a gift. You will need to link the act to the reward if you want it to teach a lesson.