Life can be tough for many people, and even those who have general good luck can experience this, too. However, it’s also true to say that the opposite is correct, that even during the darkest days the sun can, and will shine again. As such, it’s important to take care of ourselves, and those we care for too. Reaching out with a loving hand can not only help someone feel better about themselves, it may help them think with a new perspective, and enable them to get out of their rut.
However, sometimes it can be hard to know when to intervene, when to express concern, and when to give your loved one’s space. All the goodwill in the world can sometimes be too much, even if it is better to be slightly overcaring than undercaring.
For this reason, we think it’s a good idea to discuss some advice for watching over your loved ones and friends, and hopefully they themselves can reflect this goodwill and nurturing attitude towards you. Without further ado, let’s begin:
Understanding Boundaries
It’s good to respect healthy boundaries between anyone you’re close to – sometimes you might share every little detail with them and they with you, at other times you may prefer your privacy. This is not the sign of an unhealthy relationship, quite the opposite in fact. However, it can also be worthwhile knowing when it’s worth asking about an issue, and when to err on the side of caution. Don’t think you have to get it perfect every time, as communication is often key.
For instance, if you know that your loved one is experiencing difficulty with a partner of theirs, you might ask them if everything is okay, and you’ve heard they’ve been having trouble. You don’t need to ask for the particulars unless they willingly share them, but you might offer them emotional support or ask to help out where needed. They might return the same offer.
Then, after these healthy boundaries are respected and defined, when you choose to inquire further, your questions have more weight to them. For example, you might suggest you’re worried about them, and how you don’t think the partnership is healthy. You might offer refuge to a loved one who feels unsafe at home. You might make the rest of the family or their close ones aware of the situation where necessary. This way, you’ll proceed at the correct rate. It can be hard to judge this, but know your efforts really do count.
Staying Alert For Red Flags
It’s important to notice changes in friends or relatives behavior, sometimes this can signify life changes or difficulties they’re experiencing. For example, it’s not uncommon for depressed friends to pretend everything is okay, or to promise to attend events but always drop out, or for them to become unusually quiet.
Moreover, in some cases friends who may usually be like this may become super active and involved, and that can be a sign that something has shifted too. It’s not that a change in behavior is always a sign of something wrong, but it’s good to be aware of them a little more, keeping watch over how consistent their behavior is, and how much they wish to open up to you.
This way, you can catch the signs of difficulty much more easily. Just remember that you don’t have to catch every minor annoyance or irritation, nor should you feel like an eternal warden of your friend as opposed to just being their friend. However, by applying this advice you’ll at least be a little more attentive, and set a good example for others in your cicle.
Constant, Respectful Communication
Communication is always key. With friends and family, the sign of good communication is talking at the right times, and not feeling as though you have to constantly communicate in order to know what the other is feeling. That latter approach can be relatively intensive and demanding. If you can resume talking to a friend after a little while and it’s like nothing has changed, that’s the mark of a good connection.
That said, small talk, keeping one another in the loop, and inviting them to spend time with you, and vice versa, can be a lovely way to keep those connections. Set up routines to help you sustain your connections, be that heading for a morning walk with your grandparent, or heading to the gym with your sibling.
Communication helps you better understand those you love, and over time, that helps you understand when something is wrong, when they need your help, or when to ask them to help you in kind. This is how we care for one another, and over time, that approach really does make a profound difference.
Proactive & Promoting
It’s good to be a fan of your friends and relatives. As in, seeing the best in them when you can, and helping them see the best of themselves, and being proactive about that. When people know you only want the best for them, and you really do try and promote that, they tend to trust your opinion and know you’ll always try and improve their sense of self-belief.
A friend like this can genuinely help you in all areas of life, even if it’s just with a kind word. Moreover, if you’re like this, then expressing concern, asking if you can help out, or helping them at their worst is much more possible. This way, mutual support becomes less of a negotiation and something you both engage in, simply because it’s healthy to be part of.
Offer Emotional Support
The friends that really matter are those that are with us through thick and thin, and who we’re not afraid to be vulnerable around. This sounds obvious, but it’s something that you need to earn in your friendships as opposed to expecting without question.
It’s good to call on friends for a talk here and there, then, even if it’s only over a morning coffee. It might be that your friend has been struggling since having a child, and you want to make sure they don’t isolate themselves while you render any help you can, or perhaps your friend has lost a relative and you want to help them grieve – giving them space when it’s appropriate, and being there when you need to.
Emotional support can come in many forms. For some, it’s a heartfelt discussion really getting into the nitty-gritty of a tough topic, and coming to solutions. For others, it’s simply listening to a friend vent, which we all need to do from time to time. Of course, it’s also important to make sure this is relatively balanced between you and a friend. Don’t become the kind of person who has all of someone’s problems dumped on them, never to be reciprocated. Moreover, trauma dumping shouldn’t be the sole purpose of a relationship, as friends, even in tough situations, often point out the silver lining.
Regardless, if someone knows you’re happy to provide emotional support when it’s really needed, they’ll turn to you. Having someone like that can be life-affirming in more ways than one.
Be Responsible Where Necessary
From time to time, you might have to be the responsible party when a friend or relative can’t or is struggling to be. It might be you need to help your grandparent with Ambien treatment for sleep disorders in elderly patients and their associated addictions or help them install mobility aids in their household now that their capabilities are reduced thanks to age.
You might simply be called upon to bring clothes and home supplies to the hospital room when needed, should they become injured or need treatment. If you’re the head sibling, then planning the funeral of a parent or helping to arrange essential family measures can be crucial.
In other words, it’s always good to not only be friends, but to really be there when it’s needed. This is how families and friends stay together, and ultimately it’s what they’re really for – caring in an hour of need. While taking away someone’s agency isn’t always a good idea except for when that person is indisposed, sometimes it’s necessary, and having the wisdom and possibility of deciding when will be helpful.
Small Gifts & Acts Of Service
Religious communities usually hold the virtue of “acts of service” in dear regard, but you don’t have to have faith to make use of it. These little efforts, be that making a cup of tea for someone, inviting them to go shopping with you, giving them a lift, cooking a meal for them, all of this can add up and it’s how you share love with those you appreciate.
The ability to connect in this way really can have a profound benefit on the relationships you build and the little friendly contributions made along the way. Often, they’re reciprocated. This is a great method to watch over your loved ones, and to remain significant in their lives.
With this advice, you’re sure to remain a friend or relative anyone would be envious to have.