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When People Suggest ‘Working On Yourself,’ What Do They Mean?

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A common idea in self-care and self-development is the willingness to work on your issues, to try and become better, and to blame no one else for your situation in life. Of course, working on your issues sounds nice, but how? Becoming better sounds like a worthwhile path to follow, but it’s rather vague, because what does better mean? It’s all up to you. Blaming no one else for your issues is of course the healthiest attitude to take, even if where you are is definitely someone elses’ fault, because it gives you autonomy and allows you to move forward instead of feeling bitter. That said, it’s only the start.


So, this advice can sometimes feel a little replete with platitudes. This can be tiresome if you’re not careful, and perhaps inspire you to swear off the entire endeavor to begin with. But there is benefit in self-care and personal development. We just have to properly outline what that actually means if we wish to make any headway. After all, how can we untangle our complex web of bad habits and personality flaws if we’re even more confused about how to format that process?


So – when people suggest working on yourself, what do they mean? Well, instead of puzzling that out, you could decide what it means for you, in the healthiest possible direction. Let’s discuss that together:


Focus On Your Flaws


Focusing on your flaws, to the extent that you can, is what is often meant by ‘working on yourself.’ But of course, this works on a spectrum. It might be that you’re trying to limit your intake of dessert foods, or it may be that you wish to use services like to address traumas and focus on the emotional realities that have come from that. The best thing to do is isolate one thing you wish to improve, and focus on that. Climb one mountain at a time. It will give you energy to move into the next one.


Set Your Priorities & Streamline


Working on yourself doesn’t mean rounding who you are into the perfect person, because ironically, anyone’s idea of a perfect person is actually quite flawed. So, set a priority you can focus on – be that trying to reconnect with your family, working harder on your studies, or to focus on you again after trying to maintain a difficult relationship for too long. It will make a profound difference to your overall sense of wellbeing:


Cut Out Your Bad Habits


Cutting out your bad habits is an important use of your time. It’s easier said than done, but replace a habit with a good one, and it will sustain you rather than drawing your energy. So, instead of heading to the bar continually, you might join a local sports team for an amateur league, or join a society at your university. Often, good habits are about what you fill your time with, not all of the hard-won avoidances you fight during the day.


With this advice, you’re sure to work on yourself in a clear, consistent way, and do so with care.

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