When a friend complains about her cheating husband, it’s easy to say: “walk away”. But what if it happens to you?
According to statistics, every third American has been cheated on at least once in their life. Infidelity in marriage is a highly traumatic experience that presents the victim with a challenge of choosing: either stay in the relationship or burn the bridges clean.
You say: “Divorce after affair is the only possible option.” But no relationship is ever that simple. Kids, financial problems, fears, and personal insecurity – feelings, after all – often force two people to stay in the long-shattered marriage for years. Something may work out of that. More often, however, it leaves two people with broken hearts and ruined lives.
How do you know when to walk away after infidelity? Search for these signs:
Your Spouse Doesn’t Feel Sorry for What They Did
An obvious sense of guilt and sincere regret may be the reasons to give a cheater another chance. However, when a person shows no remorse for what they did, it may suggest that you’re married to a consummate scoundrel. The chances that a cheater once, a cheater forever are really high. And only you get to decide whether you want to go through it over and over again for the rest of your life. Inability to provide for yourself or other issues may be the reason to stay. But you should know clearly why you’re doing this. Definitely, not because you’re hoping your partner will ever change.
They Think That One Apology Should Get You Back to Normal
It’s understandable to expect that everything will get back to normal after you sincerely apologize. After all, what else can you do? Come back to the past and send your lover away?
However, if your partner pushes you into acting as before – like cheating didn’t happen – it may be a signal that they don’t care about your feelings. If you’re both aimed at saving this relationship, communication and respect are important. The affair partner must respect your pain and personal space for as long as you need to heal. However, if they continue to violate your personal boundaries and hurt your feelings, this is a signal to divorce after cheating.
Your Partner Refuses to Try Marriage Counseling
Infidelity doesn’t always happen because of a person’s ugly nature. Lack of communication, respect, and attention may awaken our weaknesses and lure us into taking inconsiderate acts we would regret of later. In any case, this is a highly painful experience for someone who has been cheated on. And clearly, a loving partner would want to make it right.
Marriage counseling is normally the very first measure recommended to couples who experienced infidelity in their families. Communication and negotiation are important if you want to give your marriage another chance. And hardly anyone can deal with the problem without professional help. Your partner’s refusal can mean that they don’t think your feelings are a big deal. What’s worth, they’re likely to interpret your staying as that you’re ok with such treatment.
The decision to walk away after your partner cheated on you isn’t an easy one. But do you really want to hold on to a partner who doesn’t care about you?
The Cheating Spouse Still Keeps in Touch with Another Party to the Affair
You shouldn’t expect your partner to leave a well-paid job because of an affair with a colleague. It may hurt your own marital well-being, after all. But limiting their communication to only working matters – or even transferring to a different department – would be a wise decision if they want to make amends to you.
If a spouse still keeps in touch with the ex-lover, it’s the reason to seriously consider divorce after affair. Even if the physical part doesn’t take place anymore, any interaction with that person will hurt your feelings and cause suspicions. Unfortunately, most often, these suspicions have also heavy grounds.
You’re Staying in the Relationship for the Sake of Someone Else But You
A syndrome of a martyr is a very common phenomenon in marriage. Parents stay together for their kids, even if everyone in this family is unhappy. Stay-at-home wives don’t leave their abusive husbands because someone has to ensure the quality of life their partners are used to. Husbands continue living with cheating wives because they’re afraid to leave the love of their life with nothing.
If you’re asking yourself whether you should divorce a cheater or not, then your happiness is definitely in danger. Your heart wants a different life. Where you will be respected. And cherished. And deeply loved. Your kids would appreciate a happy mom. And your partner will do fine on their own. Staying in a relationship for the sake of others is a bad reason. And if it’s so, walk away without any regret.
You Don’t Feel Like Putting Effort into Saving the Relationship
It may happen that you don’t want to listen to the apologies, discuss anything, or work on saving your relationship. This can mean that you yourself don’t believe that you two have a future together. And your partner’s affair is just an eye-opening experience saying that former feelings are long gone for both of you. In this case, getting a fast and easy online divorce may be the best option to avoid emotional and financial grinder.
Infidelity is never a tragedy of one – both spouses suffer. Someone feels hurt, while the other one loses trust, respect, and often their peace of mind. Don’t marry a cheater and don’t be a cheater are the best two pieces of advice anyone can give you. However, if you happened to be the victim of a cheating spouse, only you can decide if this marriage is worth saving. If your partner is negligent about your feelings and happiness, you’ll do yourself a favor by walking away.