It’s not pretty, but chances are you have or you will have to have a difficult conversation with your child. It could come down to being flat-out awkward, heated, or it could be a very good conversation. It’s just a part of life, and it’s something that every parent and guardian will face in their life. However, if you’re wanting to ensure that your child is going to be properly filled in, educated, and properly developed then you just need to bite the bullet and have conversations with them that are too uncomfortable.
Nowadays children are being exposed to stuff that parents would have never imagined twenty or thirty years ago. Children are now maturing slightly younger than they have been. This is due to the internet, TV, and what they hear from their peers or teachers.It’s impossible to protect your child from everything, and one of the toughest parenting roles is to try and have a conversation with something that you’re uncomfortable addressing. However, it needs to be done. Regardless of how distressing some of these conversations are. These are some helpful tips that any parent or guardian can use when addressing the more difficult and uncomfortable topics with their children.
Understand that what you approach them and how you approach them will vary
It should vary by age to be more specific. If you’re wanting to address something such as getting a lawyer over being injured then you’re going to discuss it with your teenager in a very different manner than you would with a toddler, right? Even if you had a preteen, you’d still address the situation completely differently. It’s just important that how you phrase things and what topic you’re going to cover is going to be approached differently based on the age of your child. You just want to be accommodating in the best way possible.
Think about bringing someone else into the conversation
Depending on the topic of the conversation, it may be best to have someone else be a part of the conversation. If the topic involves you and your spouse or partner, then they should be a part of the conversation with your child as well. If someone is going to be involved in this uncomfortable topic (such as divorce), then it may be best for them to also be in the conversation as well. This will allow your child to have more clarity and understanding.
Think about the setting for the conversation
When it comes to any uncomfortable topics that you plan on addressing with your child, regardless of the topic, it’s always best that this environment is somewhere familiar and comfortable. You want to find the best environment, and this is usually going to be at home. This could be somewhere such as your children’s bedroom, the living room couch, or even the dining table. You want your kids to feel safe, and have a safe space so really think about where you want to have this conversation with them.
Understand that your emotions are going to impact the conversation
Just like the emotions of your child are going to impact the conversation, it’s going to be the same for you as well. If you found out some bad news such as a death in the family, then you know it’s going to be insanely difficult to hold composure while telling the news to your child. It doesn’t have to even be a death, it can be any topic that is going to be very upsetting for you. While you shouldn’t wait too long or backpedal on the decision to let your children know, instead, you should calm down. Just wait a few hours, reflect, and just try to calm down.
Not even as a parent, but as an adult, there are so many hard things that we have to do in life. One of them is remaining composure when trying to give the news of something unsettling. It’s just important to stay level-headed when you’re going to break the news to your children or have an uncomfortable conversation with them. This doesn’t automatically mean that you can’t show your emotions, honestly, it’d be too hard not to. What you should do instead is to just try to stay level-headed, whether you’re filled with sadness or anger, you need to be level-headed. You need to be level-headed so you know exactly what to say and know exactly what not to say.
Ask if your child already knows anything
Depending on the topic that you’re about to have with your child, you should determine whether or not they even know what it is. Children are far smarter than they lead on. So it’s best to figure out what they already know first, because chances are whatever you’re about to bring up with them is something that they may already know. It’s true that word spreads around quickly, and for all, you know your child could be hearing the conversations that you have with you even realizing it.
Don’t be afraid, just ask your kid directly what they know about certain topics. If they already know a lot of information about certain topics, then don’t be afraid to ask them how they found out. This doesn’t mean you should scrutinize them or make them feel bad, or even go as far as punishing them. But it does help you get an idea of how and where they’re getting certain knowledge and information from.
Be open to seeking out a professional to help out
There are some topics that may be just a little too much for a child to handle. It may also be far too difficult and uncomfortable for you to address alone. This doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent if you’re unable to do this alone. In fact, it may be better as there will be a third party, such as a counselor or therapist to help out. Each child has their own way of processing and handling information that’s thrown at them, especially bad news. All bad news, especially serious things such as death or divorce needs to be handled with care. So having a professional step in can do a lot of good.