Talking to members of your own family isn’t usually an issue at all. Parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins, etc., are usually perfectly fine for striking up a conversation with – even when you aren’t all the close!
But when you’re specifically worried about a certain member of your family, and you’d like to talk to them about something sensitive, it’s important not to launch straight in and leave a mess.
At a time like this, it’s usually a lot better to consider your approach carefully. If you’re not sure where to start though, we’ve created a little list of some tips below.
Keep it on Topic
If you’re close to someone and they feel like you’re coming at them with something accusatory, the topic of the conversation can very quickly veer off.
They might start bringing up irrelevant things just to put the spotlight back on you, or highlight some bad behavior of the past, and that can then put you in a position where you feel the need to defend yourself.
Try not to let the conversation get to this point. Cut off talk like this as soon as it crops up. Make it clear that you’re not here to talk about anything else, and you just want to focus on the one situation at hand.
Don’t Jump in with What You Believe is the Solution
When you start the conversation already knowing where you want it to end, you leave less room for the person you’re worried about to actually say their own piece. Not only that, but the onus remains on you and what you want, leaving less space for their needs and concerns.
As such, don’t jump in with a solution you favor. Instead, leave the floor open to as many possibilities as possible.
For example, if the person you’re talking to is your own parent, who is in their elder years and starting to need more support in day to day activities, talking to them like you’ve already made a decision is never a good idea.
Sure, you may have come across an Assisted Living facility that’s exactly what they need, but they need to be the one to decide that. Instead, gently suggest to them that more support is out there, and there’s no shame in needing it.
Make sure they know you’re happy to go through the options with them as well, and that there’s no deadline on making decisions.
Take it to a Therapist
Sometimes you need a mediator who can be objective. This usually won’t come from within your own family, so you may need to reach out to a therapist here.
If you’ve tried to talk about something multiple times and it’s always ended up in a non-constructive place, ask your family member to come along to a mediation session with you.
If you’re worried about a family member, approach the conversation openly, honestly, and with no expectations. Don’t be afraid to need a therapist either.