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The first time you’re responsible for charting your path through managing a funeral, things can often feel quite overwhelming, especially if you have little help. Not only do you have to deal with the loss, but also think about sending off that person in the most respectful and beautiful way.

This post deals with a heavy topic, but we hope that with some of our insight, you can move through this process in the best way, a way that enables you to seek some kind of closure and pay respect to the wonderful person you have lost.

The first thing to consider is booking a funeral director. For a fee, they can guide you through the process, help you book a venue, and make any extra necessary arrangements. If your lost loved one had burial insurance, this will make the whole process a lot easier. Serving as the executor of the estate, you may still need legal help from the solicitor involved in curating the will, and from there make sure every form is filled out and every dispute is mediated through a probate service.

With that in mind, let’s answer some of the most frequented questions by newcomers to this task:

Last Wishes Are Not Legally Binding, But Nice To Fulfill

It can sometimes feel as though the last wishes of your relative are essential to consider, and they of course will be just because of obvious reasons, but if they are impossible to achieve or may not resemble the last wishes they had personally expressed to you beforehand, then they are not legally binding, even if they are nice to fulfill.

This can help you enter a wider conversation with the rest of the family as to how best to achieve a similar result. For instance, if they wished for an open casket funeral but for whatever reason this is less than advisable, then it may be curating a beautiful framed photograph of your relative on top, alongside some beautiful cemetery plaques, could be a nice substitute. In this way, you can avoid feeling absolutely defined within strict and narrow rules, and achieve your relatives’ last wishes in a more suitable manner, a manner they themselves may have agreed with.

Consider The Invite List

Considering the invite list of the funeral can require many tough calls, but sometimes, family and friendship dynamics develop in such a way that a discerning approach could be your best policy. If you relative only wished for a small and humble service, then it could be that only inviting relatives and their closest friends can be important. Just like a wedding, it can sometimes be worthwhile to set boundaries between family members or simply make sure that ground rules are understood before the service takes place. Sometimes, the invite list will be obvious, sometimes it won’t be, we simply advise you to make those calls with confidence and always respecting the wishes of your relative.

The Final Decisions

Some final decisions are larger and perhaps more essential than others. For instance, it may be that your relative had specific wishes, such as being buried in one of the Batesville Caskets available or asking for certain music to be played. Or, they may not have. It can be, then, that deciding the way forward is worth considering.

For instance, considering how much does an urn cost or considering additional burial conditions such as those that plant a tree atop your lot can make a big impact, and can help your relative live on with something of a statement. The final decisions you make are obvious when guided by prior wishes, but may require creative thinking and family discussions otherwise.

We would advise that you have those discussions, and that you speak to the professionals as to what your mainline options are. They can help you flourish in your planning going forward.

Commemorating Them Properly

It’s a nice idea to commemorate your family member properly. This might involve expressions like reciting their favorite poem, getting them their special funeral flowers, spreading their ashes in an area they loved and expressed an interest in retiring to.

You might have old photographs of them restored and framed, or perhaps you can take some of their most precious keepsakes and keep them in cared-for storage, one day ready to pass them down to your children going forward.

As far as the funeral is concerned, you may decide to implement a few structured changes they would appreciate. For example, inviting their old military friends to the funeral, while not in contact for a few years, could be quite heartwarming and worthwhile.

With this advice, we hope you can manage your first funeral with confidence. We’re sure you’ll do a great job.