Today feels weird. I feel different. There is something in the air…a feeling of confusion. A feeling of unease. A feeling of community.

I admit it, I went shopping.  I bought a LOT of stuff. Medicines, paper goods, food (fresh, canned and frozen). I felt embarrassed a few days ago when I made my first run. I got a few funny “that crazy girl” looks when I bought over $200 in medicine and soap from my local CVS. Today that CVS has been wiped clean. I don’t feel so embarrassed today.

I went to our local grocery store – Giant Eagle. I use their pay and go system. I use the portable scanner. I scan my items and bag them as I shop. I scan my portable scanner at the register to pay and go. It is so easy. When I opened the app to scan my membership card this is what I found. They are limited people hoarding already.

When we woke up this morning I sat my kids down for a heart to heart. I asked when what they new about the virus. I explained how this is a sickness that lots of people have gotten and are going to get. That most people will get better just like when we get a cough or the flu. But sadly others will not get better. I told them we have to stay inside our home a lot more now. This is so we don’t get the sickness and spread it to the people we love, the people who may not get better from this virus. They sort of get it. They know they don’t want the people in our family and friends group to get it. I don’t want to induce fear or panic in my children. That would not help any of this. I want them to be aware of coughing people. I want them to really improve in their hand washing. I want them to learn to respect me as their temporary teacher.

Today is the first day of no school for children for my kids. This mandated halt in education for the state of Ohio doesn’t officially start until next Tuesday – March 17 2020.  My school district decided to make it effective immediately.  I stopped into my daughters elementary school. I wanted to grab her math book and her writing journal. The people in the office told me that they teacher will be reaching out to us parents by email with the game plan.  I asked if I could just run back to her class room and get the couple things. I was not allowed. They had to take my daughter to the classroom while I waited in the office. I was considered an outsider. Someone who was not welcome in the school. I am her mom. I volunteer here often. The staff knows me by name. But now I am not welcomed. I am looked at like an outsider – someone who may be infected…

I don’t home school for a reason, it just isn’t in my blood. I have a hard time being a teacher and not the mom. Now I have to overcome my lack of comfort with the idea of homeschooling my kids. I have to become the teacher if I want them to stay up on their studies and not regress.

I tried to be the teacher, it was hard. After we talked about the virus I told them how I am going to be their teacher moving forward. I told them I will tell them when I put on my “teacher hat” that I am to be treated and respected. To behave around me how they behave around their school teacher. I can “clip” them up or down on the behavior chart, just like at school. I comforted them that we will only be doing a small amount of school each day, not an all day curriculum. We will just do some math, some reading and some writing. I am also choosing to add in a supplemental bible study each day. This will all take less an 1 hour. That is my game plan at least.

This are not normal. They will not be back to normal for a long time. This is going to get worse before it gets better. I fully believe this.

During this time I will choose to lean on my faith. My whole being knows that Christ is my savior. I will continue to pray and look to His word for direction at this time.

1 John 4:18  (NASB) There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.